Reflection in January

I could not write.  I needed to write.  It was too much, it was all too much.  I did not know how to put it into words, but I also needed to process.  I felt the pain inside of me, waiting to be unraveled through words so I can make sense of it.  I felt the pain of others as they shared their stories. Maybe through these same words, they can make sense of it as well.

Much happened in the past few weeks.  I did not write at first, because it was too near, too present, too real.  Two of my friends were struggling with cancer, and I knew of parents that had lost a child. One of my coworkers had suddenly passed away, and the world as I knew it was in disarray.

Everywhere I looked, there were struggles, even as I struggled to keep my own life afloat. Friends were struggling with their relationships, families, children.  Workers were fatigued and overburdened.  People were worried, anxious, and fearful.  I wished I could offer some comfort, even though at times, I felt my own heart darken with doubt and fear.

Will they make it?  Will I make it?  What about our relationships?  Families?  Government? World?  Is it all going downhill?  Will it all implode and explode under the pressures?

Now, more than any other time it seems, we need encouragement . . . real encouragement.  And, being Christian, I found comfort in God’s Word, presence, songs and prayers, as well as spending time with other Christ followers.

Maybe that was too simplistic, too “pat” an answer for a world full of complicated problems and hurt that goes deep.  Maybe we heard the message a little too often that it lost the power for us.  Maybe we’re too jaded and burned and burnt out.  Too tired of hoping and fighting, and falling, and hoping again . . .

But somewhere, deep inside, I know that Christ is the hope of the world.

Maybe, as problems and issues get to be too much, God is bringing us to this point.  There is a time, when you cross that line, that you know that if it’s not God, there’s just no way.

Struggling with my husband’s adhd did it for me.  I knew that if it’s not God, there’s just no way . . . no way to handle the relationship struggles, the parenting issues, and the myriad of problems that can so easily snowball and damage an already burdened heart. (And, without God, there’s no way that an already damaged heart can be restored, healed, and made new . . .)

Without God, there was no way to keep going, no way to fight one more day, no way to hope.  It is still a daily struggle for me, not only the adhd, but everything else that stems from it.

So what now?  I can let fear take hold, or take hold of Him (or rather, rest in the knowing that He is taking a hold of me).  Even if you are not a Christ follower, dear friend, do you know that He still cares for you?  That He loves you far more than you can ever imagine?

Maybe I’ll save this for another blog, but there is absolutely no one on earth who can, and does love you more than Jesus.  The world promises you love, and maybe at best, that love will be a shadow of Jesus’ love.  His love is there for the receiving . . . all you need to do is to ask for His forgiving of the wrongs you’ve done, and receive Him into your heart.

Isn’t that simple?  . . . Isn’t it beautiful?

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